Birthday Cake
by Optimistic Lyricist
Summary: River Song wants to do something special for The Doctor, and this is what she's had in mind...


**Wrote this for someone's birthday so I hope she likes it :)**

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As the TARDIS materialized at its destination, The Doctor had no idea where he was as River Song wrapped a blindfold around his eyes in the control room. All he knew was that River had apparently set up a "surprise" for him.

"Can I at least get a hint?" He asked as River adjusted his bowtie and brushed along his hair with her fingers.

"Its someplace you'll like. _That's_ your hint." She told him as she turned him around and pushed him in the direction of the doors.

"Oh, that narrows it down!" He scoffed. "I love every place!"

"Don't be so sure of yourself, dear. Watch your step." She warned as she guided him out the doors.

He still tripped. River caught him just as he almost fell on his face. "Ouch! Why didn't you warn me?" He whined as she helped him to his feet.

"I did! You don't listen! Now move that pretty little tush!" She scolded him as she slapped his rear end in order for him to move along.

"Ouch!" He yelped. "Okay, new rule: We don't refer to my pretty little tush as a pretty little tush. Second, I'm the only who gets to touch it."

She couldn't help but giggle as she guided him with her hands on his shoulders. "Oh, sweetie, we both know some rules are meant to be broken."

The Doctor laughed a bit with a blush. "Can you please tell me where you're taking me now?" He started to put his hand on his blindfold before River swiftly swatted it away. "Ouch!" He yelped again.

"NO peeking!" She warned. "Be patient!"

"I can't! Patience isn't in my nature! Patience is for wimps!" He complained with a pout.

She rolled her eyes. "Well it won't be long now." After just a little more walking, she finally stopped him in his steps. "Alright, open your eyes!" She encouraged with enthusiasm.

"They are opened. I just see black right now." He told her.

"Take off the blindfold, dear." She rolled her eyes again.

He did just that and his entire face lit up in awe as he realized they were in space. Not only that, but they appeared to be on the moon. He looked in front of him to see a giant cake in front of him. A giant yellow cake the size of...well, him. It was lathered with orange truffles and frosting. To top it all off, it was shaped like a fez.

"Happy birthday, sweetie." She whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek.

He gave a confused eyebrow raise. "Birthday? I haven't celebrated my birthday in centuries. I don't even remember when I was born. Hell, I forget how old I am sometimes. What makes you want to throw a birthday party now? And how exactly did you get a cake on the moon and why are we breathing perfectly in space with no helmets?"

"Well, first off, its not a party. More of a dinner of sorts. Or at least a date." She corrected. "Second, I just wanted to do something different, you know? You always take me to extravagant places with no rhyme or reason so I decided to bring you somewhere with a rhyme and a reason."

A grateful smile emerged on his face and he grinned from ear to ear at his wife. "Oh, River, I hope you know you're too sweet to me." He leaned down to her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you. Now, how exactly is all this possible?" He pointed sporadically at his surroundings.

"Ah, right. Well, good 'ol NASA in the year 2258 put an energy orb around the moon so people can freely roam and examine the moon without having to wear those stuffy astronaut suits." She explained.

"And NASA just let you place a cake on the thing too?" He asked curiously.

"Lets just say I can be very persuasive." She grinned.

"We're here illegally, aren't we?" He asked as he approached the cake.

"Of course." She stated simply.

He chuckled softly to himself. "Well, we've both done worse things illegally. In fact, we've done worse legal things." He said as he dipped his finger in the cake and licked it. "Oh my...bananas!" He dipped his fingers in the cake again, only this time in the truffles. "Mmh! Delicious! Custard too! Oh, honey, you know me too well!" He turned to his wife in delight. "Next you'll tell me someone's about to jump out of the thing!"

"You think I'll let a stripper jump out your birthday cake?" She crossed her arms and glared at her husband.

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant!" He held his hands up in worried defense. "You don't have to be a stripper to jump out of a cake. I did it once."

"You jumped out of a cake for someone?" Her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Again, not in the way you think. It was for Rory." He said simply, to which she cringed awkwardly.

"Oh, you jumped out of a cake for my father. That makes me feel _so_ much better." She quipped sarcastically.

"Thought it would." He replied as he approached her and wrapped his arms around her neck. "You have no idea how incredible this is. Now, it would have been nice to have your parents celebrate with us...but we both know that's not possible." He said somberly, remembering the night of the Weeping Angels in New York. He decided to brighten up the mood as well as his tone. "But this between us is enough. It's perfect. Thank you, sweetie." He kissed her passionately until he started to hear a strange blaring noise. "What's that?" He looked around in confusion.

"Oh, bollocks." She gave a dreaded groan. "Police sirens of the year 2258. They're on to us. Police don't take too kindly to visitors popping up on the moon unannounced so I suggest we run. Now. Quickly! To the TARDIS!" She grabbed his hand as they ran back to the TARDIS.

And just like that, much like how their relationship began, The Doctor and River Song were on the run...


End file.
